CHEATING ON TRUST - By Augustus Bill

For years I have betrayed our love, our friendship and our relationship. For years I have kept you on the sidelines, while I flirted around with frivolities as they came by. I was ready to bang any and anytime without second thoughts that such acts were eating deep into our friendship.

I cheated on you like a cock, and at a point I pushed you out entirely, while I entertained any glow that can satisfy my insatiable curiosity for more. You caught me more than I can remember, yet you never gave up on me. I remember walking out on you on several occasions when you professed your undying love for me. I cared less about your feelings, your emotions were like a waste in my trash can. Yet you never gave up.

Each time I cheated on you, you sent me a text reminding me of your love for me. Most of those texts I deleted without reading them. Each time I hung out with the wrong folk at the wrong place, you dialed me, but often times I ignored your calls; I screened them the moment I saw your name. Most times when I felt you were disturbing my fun, I switched my phones off, but you always found a way of reaching me.

You know my in and out, yet I cared less about you, who you are and what you can offer. I felt more safe in the romance of fellows that you always warned could ruin me.

Amongst all my faults and betrayal of what we had, you stayed by my side. 4 years ago, when I was stuck in that bed of sky blue sheets with different sizes of sachet liquids hanging around me, and without hope of seeing the next day, you came around, and like a mother you stayed by me, and when the Bank got drained from refilling me, you became my survival bank. You donated those pints and piles that saved my life. I promised to be faithful to you and never cheat again, but few months after I left the bed, I returned to my old ways, forgetting how you saved me.

Few years later, I was in a big mess. My friends had set me up for a big trial, after they became jealous of my achievements. I was cooling off in the nest of regrets, and I called your line, you wasted no time, not minding you caught me cheating on you the day before. Yet you posted my bail, hugged me and took me out for lunch. But I remained unchanged.

I only remember your lines when I am in trouble and needed help, because I know you are highly connected and can make anything happen with those connections of yours. I was very selfish. I always called you on days and nights when the weather was cold and I was very horny of satisfaction; horny of success. You wasted no time, you romance me with every depth and breadth of love, care, kindness and grace, yet I betrayed you.

Today, as I sat in my lonely bed reminising the past; how far I have gone, where I am and where I was headed. I realised that all I am today is because you had hands in them. I couldn't have boasted of what I have today if you were never there for me, more especially you gave all to me.

In that moment of realisation, tears dropped from my eyes, I felt the weight of my betrayal, my unfaithfulness, my overall attitude towards you; I felt ashamed of myself.

in the voice of a repentant soul, I say

"I am sorry Lord, please in your infinite mercy forgive me of my shortcomings. I am so grateful of your grace and miracles in my life. For all the time I cheated on your love, all the time I betrayed our unending friendship. Forgive me Lord"

In his hands I find peace and everlasting love.



1 comment:

Powered by Blogger.