This piece is based on tertiary institutions and the categories of students you would find therein, especially in the lecture halls. As funny as some of these categories might seem, it is interesting to know that you find yourself falling into one or more of the categories below:
1. The Photocopy addicts
My goodness! These guys can be so so funny as they tend to photocopy any material that comes their way.These guys don’t joke with anything on paper. Don’t take these ones for granted because if you do, they might photocopy you as well.
2.The Gazers
These guys can gazelook! When you see them gazing, you will be thinking they understand the lecturer perfectly and to the fullest but the truth is this; these ones cannot really be classified as good listeners because they just come to class to gaze at the lecturer; so confused! Whether the lecturer speaks German, gibberish or ‘mambo jumbo,’ all they do is gaze. Gazing is all they do and when the lecturer asks: ‘Do you understand? They are usually the first to shout yes and that’s how they continue to gaze until the exam ends.
3. The Late-comers Gang
These guys are the ‘badoos’ of the class, as they just tip-toe into the class. Did I even say tip-toe? They bounce into the class, and go straight to the back seats because by the time they arrive in class, the front seats have already been occupied.
4. The Usain Bolt type of Brethrens
This set of guys can run. I even saw one this week. They don’t wait for the first lecture to finish before they dash for the door. Most times, I just wonder if they copy notes at all because before the lecturer drops his marker, they are already at the door on their way out.
5. The Argument Lords
These guys are those ones that claim to be Gurus. They come into the class, sit down and start up one argument. I guess this set of guys can be found in almost all departments and trust me, they can be so annoying especially when are 99.9 per cent sure they they are pushing distorted facts. For example, it is guys like these that come into the lecture hall and say: “Guy, you hear say Mark Zuckerberg na Nigerian?
6. The League of Borrowers
Sometimes, it is hard to say for sure whether they are students or non-learning students. I simply don’t comprehend. These people can never have a pen or calculator; not even inside an examination hall. They just keep borrowing until their bags are filled with all kinds of things.
7. The Questionnaires Club
These guys are fond of ansking questions and they do that everytime. They ask both the reasonable and unreaasonable questions. In some cases, some of them ask out of context and annoying questions. These guys hav perfected the art of extending the lecturer’s time as they just continue to ask questions; even when they know the lecturer has run out of time. You can imagine somebody asking: Sir, should I
write my name on my answer booklet before submitting?” Or another asking: “”Sir, can we come to lectures early.”
8. The Fashionista
All they pray for is for people to look at them and go: “Wow!.” They have the latest dresses and designs in vogue. They wear different clothes everyday and try to imitate any Tom or Harry that comes their way. These guys can be so weird when you step on their
9. The Serious Ones
Yhese ones are not usually the ‘smashers’ in class, but they tend to pay attention and give no damn whatsoever to any distraction. They come to lectures early and some of them stay back to argue over what the lecturer just taught. Some guys in category 5 are sometimes among this crew.
10.The Non-Academic Students
These ones always have something to do somewhere. They just want the lecture to end so that they can go sharp sharp. I remember I said this list would contain 10 categories but I cannot resist the urge to add this last category…
11. The name writers
These guys are really obsessed with putting down their names on lists generated in lecture halls as they believe they stand to benefit from such lists. They usually don’t find out what the list of names being drawn up is all about until they have successfully added their names to the list. The moment they see you writing your name on a list, they hurry towards you in a bid to also add their names to the list. Interestingly, you are bound to find a lot of these guys in quite a number of schools.
Please note that this article was not written to spite anyone. It was written just to explore the fun side of academic life of students in Nigerian tertiary institutions.
So, which category do you (or did you) fall into?

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